I was 21 when I got married and the night before the big day, I seriously wondered what I would ever feel sad about again. At least since my teenage years, I thought getting married would solve all my problems. What would I worry about now? How could I ever feel insecure when a guy had promised to love me forever? I was getting married and all my problems were about to be solved.
Did I mention I was 21?
I was 24 when we had our first baby. I had similar naive thoughts during my pregnancy as I waited for this life change. How could I ever feel unfulfilled again? How could I ever question my worth? I was bringing a human into the world; I would raise a tiny spirit from infancy to adulthood. I wouldn’t have to wander from goal to goal or interest to endless interest. I would turn into my mom, the woman I respected most in the world. An image of selflessness, humility, and love. I would have a baby and become my dream.
Did I mention I was 24?
I was a mom, and though everything was different, not enough had changed. Why didn’t my insecurities disappear? Why did I feel worthless? Why, even after Ella started rolling over and smiling and clapping and sleeping through the night and a million other accomplishments, did I still have feelings of doubt and incompleteness? Why wasn’t being a mom enough to keep me happy every second of every day?
I couldn’t live solely for my kid, a realization now 3 years in the making. She (and now her baby brother) fill my life with joy and magic and pain and hard work but there are still empty spaces because I didn’t stop being a person when I became a mother. So The Curated Kids became my balance, the connection between being a stay at home mom and a human being who has hobbies and passions of her own. People say “Happy Wife, Happy Life” and to that I would add, “Happy Mother, Better Mother.” And what makes me happy? Putting together sweet outfits and filling their rooms with knick knacks and toys and memories. Traveling and adventures and road trips. And taking pictures. Lots and lots of pictures.
I do all this to make motherhood fun and personal and feel right for me. More natural. I can take the mundane parts in stride because I have the power to create more fulfilling parts. There are all sorts of different ways to be a mom, a happy mom, and The Curated Kids is mine.
Thanks for coming along.