Whew.

Church was… challenging.

I don’t know if it’s possible for a toddler to have a chip on her shoulder but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were.

And I don’t know if it’s possible for an almost one year old baby to retain newborn-like neediness but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were.

On days like today, it’s hard to enjoy church or even like myself. It’s hard to feel like the effort to get out the door on time and sit quietly for three hours is worth it. It’s easy to quit– on church and on myself.

But, sitting here now, I can’t regret going. That’s the thing that is always so crazy, that seems actually impossible: I never regret going to church. It’s not exactly a stirring testimony but it’s what I have on days like today when Belle and Bud are more like two beast babies.

I haven’t yet been able to figure out how to have a great church experience when my kids are having a hard time. I haven’t yet been able to detach my emotional state from my kids’ moods and behavior. All I can do is hope that, one day, doing so will be possible too.

Happy (as can be) Sunday, everybody.