This weekend has been great for exactly one reason: Matthew is home!
A few weeks into his internship, I could really see a difference in Ella. She is a really adaptable kid but Matthew is her favorite person on earth (I’ve come to terms with this). Even if I couldn’t tell she missed him, she told me several times. Seeing her sadness, I knew we couldn’t have two months go by without the kids seeing him. So we planned for him to come this weekend and it’s been wonderful and eye opening.
It was wonderful to see Ella and Matthew reunite. It was wonderful to see Jack show excitement and Matthew to see how he’s changed. It was wonderful to have someone else make lunch and do bath time. It was wonderful to watch a father dote in his children in ways only father’s can. Wonderful to be all together again.
It was eye opening for Matthew to see how hard this is. It was eye opening for me to give up control and have it be almost harder than doing everything myself. I didn’t think I would be able adapt to life like this; it was eye opening to see that I have.
He leaves today and we’ll have to wait another two weeks to be all together again but I’m grateful for this reprieve. For Matthew’s love and dedication to me and our kids. Families are meant to be together. That is their natural state, their state of happiness. And I know that any depression or dejection I’ve felt these past weeks can be traced to our current unnatural state. So I have to choose not to be hard on myself for those feelings because they make perfect sense. All I can do, all I have been doing, is keep faith and hope that I can endure them.
Happy Sunday, everybody.