There are a few different ways I’ve always thought of myself.
I have a really good memory. I love trinkets and all beautiful things. I need to be early because being on time is late. I’m an idea generator– I have a million ideas all the time about everything. Book titles, inventions, slogans, you name it. Loyalty is deeply important to me. I’m an introvert, through and through, but I do want real connections with people. I’m a writer. I love words and putting them together in just the right way. I love home decor for the same reason. And I love my children more than anything in this world; their names are engraved on my heart.
And then there’s the fear I’ve always had about myself that I thought would never go away. That I am a starter and never, ever a finisher. I’m an idea generator without the follow-through. So when I started The Curated Kids a year ago, my biggest fear was that it would come to nothing, like so many things I’ve done in the past.
I didn’t really know what I was starting when I made The Curated Kids Instagram account. I’ve done inconsistent blogging, sometimes in earnest and other times not so much, in the past and never really shared what I wrote with anyone. I was a tree falling in the forest with no one to hear. Then something happened to me a few months after Jack was born. I felt inspired again, like a writer again, and I wrote a little about that on what this site used to be (The Curated Lifestyle Blog). And then I kept writing. Still telling no one, I kept writing.
I was also taking pictures. Styling my kids and their bedrooms and our home– for no other reason than it was fun and brought me genuine joy. And then my sister, another creative, really encouraged me to start an account devoted to these efforts I was making. She encouraged me to make some noise.
So on November 29th, 2017, I posted this picture of Ella’s room.
And since that day, I have had no idea what I’m doing except that I’m still having fun and feeling genuine joy. For the last year, I’ve been making really good memories. I’ve shared trinkets and seen beautiful things. I run around getting our Sunday Best pictures and yes, sometimes we don’t get to church early but on time. I’ve had millions of ideas; some that have worked and some that have really, really not (am I the only one who was annoyed by Ella’s birthday countdown? Sorry about that one). I’m amazed by the loyalty and support of my family. Matthew, especially. I can’t believe how many connections I’ve made. To be writing again, to be a writer again, means more to me than even words can express. And my children, Ella & Jack, Belle & Bud– they are the curated kids and inspiration has been one of their greatest gifts to me.
TCK, this thing I thought I would give up on and would vanish into thin air, is still here. I’m not entirely sure what it is but it really feels like a part of me. It started out as just a place to put all my pretty pictures and write again without fear of rejection. “Curated” was how I saw myself in the future, once I had gotten my act together and my imperfections out. I thought that one day I would be able to arrange my life just so, and I imagined this “curated life.” TCK is how I turned “one day” into right now and always, imperfections and all.
TCK an extension of me. It’s my point of view and my creativity; my life philosophy in pictures and parties and words. It was never part of how I saw myself. I didn’t know I could work hard outside of motherhood. That I could be dedicated to something this much, make something grow. I always wanted to be someone who could do things myself, go outside of my comfort zone, and put beautiful things together. And then share it. Really share who I am and who I’m trying to be.
Now I know that I can. My idea of myself can change; it’s changed already. I’ve done this one thing for a year and it’s making me feel like I can do anything forever. I’m following through.
I’m excited for whatever the future holds for The Curated Kids. This isn’t just a place for you guys to watch me figure myself out (well, not anymore). It’s about sharing ideas and beauty and our experiences as women, mothers, and humans (shout out to the few guys who follow!). I want to reach out to more people and share more beauty. I want to find other people curating their lives, living deliberately and beautifully. And most importantly, I see TCK as the embodiment of my philosophies as a wife and mother. I do all of this to be complete, to be enough for the people I love most.
Of course, I haven’t gotten everything down, yet. I’m still not a finisher. The Curated Kids isn’t finished. And how could it be? I haven’t even started.